1 May 2016

Out of steam. Thats pretty much how i've been feeling of late.
I no longer have the same stamina to study hours and hours like I did in the first 2 years of uni/college. Or the way i'd study day and night for A levels.
Now i'm at the stage where, the problem isn't even procrastination, it's just... the lack of steam. Any body with me?


As i'm preparing for my last undergraduate final examinations (I have already taken 2 post-grad papers, and have 1 undergraduate paper left this semester) I realised certain things that have been happening signalling the sign of old age, or maybe that i'm just so done with studying for exams.

1. I feel like my brain stops functioning past 10pm.
I use to study till at least 2am everyday. And my study day begins at 9 am. As of now, although I wake up at 7 or 8am, I pretty much can't stay awake past 10pm. Like clock strikes 10, I think, ok bed time.

2. I can't study for hours at a go.
I never used to need many breaks, I mean, apart from the occasional Instagram checks or youtube checks, but now, damn, I find myself re-reading the same line again and again after hour 2 of studying kicks in.
Is it the distraction or is it... the brain? This is frightening.

3. My back aches from sitting on a chair.
So does my butt. I practically need a cushion chair. What is this.
Didn't I use to be able to study in most conditions?

4. I don't accustom to the air-conditioning that well.
I sneeze. I get cold, put on a jacket then get warm. I sneeze again.
Sneezing. I think this only happens to me, I think my nose gets extra sensitive as the years go by. Damn you sinus.

I worry when i'm not studying, i worry when i'm studying. I'm more of a worrier in general. I worry if i'll get employed after my masters, I worry about the job market, I worry if i'll get a job I like. So many worries so little time.
My mum tells me I waste time worrying. She's probably right. But i'm pretty sure this worrying "spirit" stems from me getting older. I never used to worry that much. I worry way more now that graduation is near. Well, the whole what i'm worrying about can be a blog post for another time.

I know this sounds super whiny, like I'm giving myself excuses. But no, this is just some things I've been noticing while preparing for my FINAL undergraduate finals. I'm pretty sure people can relate, especially if you're graduating soon or in your last few semester at university or college.
In all honesty, I believe in hard work, and in finding a way to do well, even if circumstances are less than ideal, so, that being said, I'm done with my short break, and its back to studying for this one last paper.

Liberation is near, and I seriously can't wait!


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